51. Did you ever get that feeling?

You know, okay, so I am in love again. I love somebody with my heart & soul. And it does not suck, but does sometimes feels weird. I never have loved someone else since my ex-bf of twoyears who was …let’s say … not a good expierience. So I did it, I finally like somebody again and you think all goes well, why is she whining? Truth is, I am so afraid to lose someone again. I get hysterical & cry in my bedroom because of the fact that I might lose someone again that I love. It’s silly you know, but I do. and it sucks. So I feel insanely happy, but it’s hard. As a matter of fact, I ask like every 5 minutes, do you love me? or I say I love you. I hate that, I don’t want to be like this. I want to be cool& like, oh i like you once a while, but not like this. But I can’t help this, I know I’m tying him to me, but I’m afraid it might scare him away. So, Sometimes I wish that he (or some other person(s) I love) were here to hug me and to tell me that everything is all right, and that losing someone can hurt, really hurt, but it shouldn’t be the end ofthe world ( wich it is to me :C ). so anyway, I’m being an emotional rollercoaster again, but anyway. I must tell that it feels so good to be in his arms Ü …